Body Image

Do you ever just sit and sulk about yourself? I was talking to an old friend and her previous relationship was not a good one for me. I know it wasn't/isn't my relationship but her boyfriend or whatever they were/are would always make comments to me. He was very rude. Making comments on how I'm not attractive, making digs at my weight and just plan making fun of me. 

I never did anything to him, which made me question why he would do all of these things? What did I do to deserve this? Was I really unattractive? Was I really fat? No. I'm attractive and am not fat. I had to keep telling myself that. I still have to. Since talking to her it brought up those memories and has me feeling upset. 

Granted I was never good with self confidence but I thought I was getting better at it. But then this hit me. But why should I care about what he said? He has nothing to do with me or my life so why should I make him or his thoughts and words part of me? I shouldn't. I should laugh it off. But sometimes I can't. Does anybody else ever go through this?

This is the second male that has done this to me in my life. The other one was a friend's brother. He would always say I was ugly and fat when I was in middle school and probably high school. Granted I know I'm not skinny, I know I'm not fat. I hate that everyone thinks they have to be stick skinny to be beautiful. 

Also I know what many people would say and I do agree with it. It is them that have the self confidence issues. They have to say things to others to make themselves feel better. Why? I don't necessarily like the way my body looks but I don't go saying that others are fat or ugly. I don't understand the people that do this. It's wrong and hurtful.

I thought maybe writing this all down would help but who knows. It'll probably be on my mind all night. I try to get it out but then comes in the depression that tells me I'm not good enough. I know I am good enough but sometimes I just get into these slumps. I need to stop. 

I know I asked this above but again, what do you do to get out of these slumps? I know I could say positive things but it's like someone could say 100 positive things to me and then that one negative thing will bring me down because of the damn depression. I just need to ignore it and know that I am better because I truly am better than that. I can do this! :) 

Until Next Time,

DreaminginDepression

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Comments (4)

  1. alchemicalsiren

    A lot of people are suffering from brokenness and never properly healed. They either hardened their hearts or held on to bitterness and other emotions. When lashing out at others, they temporarily feel better as you mentioned. What they don’t realize is they are creating this vicious cycle of negativity. Words are very powerful, especially if you aren’t in the best mental/emotional state. But once again, people are caught up in the bondage of their own wounds and don’t consider how much damage they could cause.

    As for things to get out of a slump, I find creative endeavors to be helpful. Anything from painting to simple collaging seems to help me. I have friends that are more musically inclined, so that’s another option. A candlelit, hot bath (throw in a few peppermint tea bags) with nature ambience music helps for relaxing. I also do some really basic yoga (a lot of breathing exercises and sitting poses) with some music (usually Christian worship. I also have a yoga Pandora station and I’ll use my ambience music as well.).

    August 16, 2015
  2. impulsive

    You got to accept yourself and your flaws. knowing them doesn’t mean you accept them. If ever you cannot accept it then do something about it. If you hate it that you’re fat then discipline yourself and exercise. but do it because you want it, do it for yourself. Sometimes encouraging yourself is not enough, I know because I have tried; so, do something about it and sometimes standing up for yourself is some kind of great motivator towards acceptance. We can do this together

    August 16, 2015
  3. gramm

    Walk tall and walk proud. I used to feel like this all the time. Mostly because of other women. And they are jealous. Not that I am arrogant but seriously, I am not fat and I am not ugly. Never was. I was just a happy person and life is good. People basically do not want to see you happy. When I see the remarks that kids give out in middle school, it makes me want to reach down and slap the little bastards across the head and knock them out of their chairs or push them off the swings on the playground. This is where it starts and kids are taught these things, at a very early age. Sure, it comes from other kids but it traces back to parents. As I said, walk tall and walk proud. Keep a smile on your face that really drives people nuts. Oh, one little trick I started to use when I get up in the morning feelling down…walk to a mirror and smile at yourself, it will turn into stupid still smiles and then you will just have to laugh. I works! You might walk away thinking, wow, what a dork I am but you will still laugh at yourself. Get rid of the word “depression” in your life. Just get rid of it!

    August 16, 2015
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