Another Night...

It's one of those nights again. I sit here and question every little thing. Why am I here? What can I do to become happy again? Am I just overexaggerating? 

I'm at war with myself. Nonstop fighting and thinking. What can I do? I try and distract myself, but it usually doesn't work. 

If anyone is reading this, what do you do when you can't stop thinking about negative things? I've tried by making myself list five things positive about myself or just life in general, but it only helps for a little. I try and distract myself by creating a different world in my mind. That's really the only thing that helps. That and medicine. 

I'm sure if you've been reading my blogs that you could've guessed I'm on medication. I am and I am not ashamed of it. Without it, I'm not sure if I would be here. 

I take two types. One mainly for depression and then another for anxiety when I need it. I barely take the anxiety one but if I'm having a very bad night I'll take it so it'll knock me out. I'm sure I sound crazy and I guess I am. But like I've said before, who is normal?

Does anyone actually read my blogs? I'm probably too crazy and not well spoken enough to get views. Oh well, haha. But if anyone is reading this, could I ask you a few things? Do you struggle with depression and anxiety? If so, how do you cope? Do you have any of the thoughts or feelings I have? I just want to know that I'm not the only one so I can feel a bit sane. 

Until next time,

DreaminginDepression

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Comments (8)

  1. Buddhazilla

    Meditation…put the mind to patient practice. It’s fucking hard, practice, practice, practice….you will not find the rewards of the effort until it chooses to reveal itself. Humans ask to may questions….stop questioning and start constructing so others ? you and you feel less need to ? yourself. People are reading, paying attention…We are here-care. I am a recovering addict with mental hiccups, slowing the mind has helped me immensely! Best Wishes…

    July 07, 2015
    1. dreamingindepression

      Thank you a ton for this. I’ve been looking into meditation and learning to be at peace with myself. I think it might make a difference.

      July 08, 2015
      1. Buddhazilla

        Your Welcome…Keep Us updated with inner warm fuzzies.

        July 08, 2015
  2. beecher

    look you are not the only one going through this we all have are down times but u cant let that stop u from having a happy life. the key is not thinking about how to have a better life, but to have it. take situations on with the thought of happiness. you your self is the only thing stopping you from having a wonderful life. don’t think about the bad think about the good, explore the world get out there and I promise you youll find the thing that you love and that will turn frown into a smile. if you read this private message me

    July 07, 2015
    1. dreamingindepression

      Thank you for this!

      July 08, 2015
  3. serinity4u2find

    I know people are going to tell you to meditate, make a gratitude list, talk to someone, or maybe write your feelings down. Those can all help. I have depression where I have ups and mostly downs. I was diagnosed in 1990 and over the years I have developed what I call a “fire drill” for myself. These are the steps I take when I feel I am getting down or when I hit that depression. I will share mine. Before anything I tell my husband and my best friend that I am feeling depressed and that at this point i don’t need anything from him I just want him to know where I am at mentally. So first I have to look externally and internally as to what may be causing the depression. Is it biological, an event, or something/someone around me that is my trigger. Second I do a “grounding exercise” which is (wiggling your toes while touching the ground, and picking three things you can see, feel, and smell). Third have a smart phone and have an app of a Buddhist gong sound to snap me to the present. I actually have it currently set to gong once every hour. Fourth I have an app of a guided meditation and I carry head phones so I can listen to it. When I am at home I go in to a room that is very quiet and I listen to the guided meditation. And fifth I get out in the sun. A sunny day may do more than just boost your mood — it may increase levels of a natural antidepressant in the brain. A new study shows that the brain produces more of the mood-lifting chemical serotonin on sunny days than on darker days. I struggled for years with my depression until I faced it and worked on making my life happier. Since I did I have graduated from college, became an addiction therapist, bought a house, and married a great guy. Everyone in my life knows about my depression because I asked them to let me know if they ever see me getting down. I wish you so much happiness. I am always here if you need anything.

    July 10, 2015
    1. dreamingindepression

      I’ll private message you. This means a lot!

      July 11, 2015